


Walking in a Winter Blunderland

by nikkisunshine



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Byeler - Freeform, Christmas, Confusion, Cute, First Dates, Fluff, Gay, Holiday, LGBT, M/M, Wholesome, byler, for being so smart Mike is lowkey dumb, m/m - Freeform, they’re both gay shhhhh, this is said w the utmost LOVE for him but he's the most oblivious in the world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 06:10:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20541392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikkisunshine/pseuds/nikkisunshine
Summary: Mike and Will haven't seen each other in months and Mike is stressed when he finds out about Will’s new girlfriend. They are set to reunite at Christmas, but the holiday is a little less holly and jolly for Mike as he tries to determine how he feels about his best friend (and if these feelings are mutual ;)





	1. One Is The Loneliest Number

**Author's Note:**

> I just finished a prequel to this fic to give more context to their relationship!! If you'd like, you can read that before this one, its called "you're my best friend" and is from Will's POV :')
> 
> This fic takes place after S3 so there are some minor spoilers. 
> 
> Happy Holidays Everyone!!!! ♡

“Lucas. Set me up.” 

“Mike, what?” Lucas said, choking on a bite of his ham and cheese sandwich.

“Set me up, please!” Mike asked, desperately.

“Why?” Lucas said, dropping his sandwich on the table as he gestured dramatically with both arms. “You and El literally JUST broke up, this really doesn’t seem like a good time for you”

“Yeah but it’s not fair!” he said emphatically, his voice rising to an octave higher than usual. “You’re with Max, Dustin has Suzie, even Will has a girlfriend now!” He sighed and his eyes rolled around the domed ceiling of the cafeteria before dropping down to make direct eye contact with his friend, “Will! Seriously!”

“Oh,” Lucas said, picking up his sandwich again and chuckling “I’m sorry Mike, but Will does NOT have a girlfriend”

Mike looked at him indignantly “um, YEAH HE DOES! He called me last night with the great news, that I’m the last single guy left in the party” he slumped into a gelatinous heap in his chair.

Lucas took a thoughtful bite. “Hmmm, ya know Mike, I really don’t think Will’s the girlfriend type… ” he said vaguely.

“THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT!” Mike said, getting out of his seat and wildly pacing around the table. “But her name is Rosie and she’s real, all right! And from what I heard, she’s reeeeal cool too!”

“Uh huh. Have you ever met this Rosie?” 

He laughed humorlessly “No. What, you think I’m gonna ride my bike all the way across county lines to see this girl? This beautiful girl who loves art and D&D and makes Will happier than he’s ever been before? I think I’ll pass” Mike said, sitting down in a huff, strands of his curly hair falling in his face. 

“I mean he’s coming down for Christmas. You’re literally gonna see him tomorrow. How about you worry about it then”

With the subtle reminder of the upcoming reunion, Lucas could see a dim flicker in his best friend’s eyes, but within a moment it was gone, muffled, extinguished by something deeper within him, something darker.

“Yeah, I guess, I don’t really care, though,” he said, his rogue right hand swatting away a thought he really didn’t wish to deal with right now. He picked up his bag of Fritos and began to crunch on them absentmindedly.

“Mmm yeah you do, but whatever,” Lucas said, rolling his eyes and taking a long sip of chocolate milk. “Keep telling yourself that”

The words were like superballs: colorful, commanding, and blatant, but they bounced right off Mike, who’s attention was buried too far inside his head to notice them. He sat there silently on the cafeteria chair spilling crumbs all over the table, his thoughts pulled into a place where flecks of darkness swirled in clouds of a desert wind, shrouding an obscured truth that Mike was so close to understanding, but remained yet out of reach.


	2. Real, All Right

“Mike! Mike!”

Mike peeled his gaze off of the colorful pages of the comic book he was reading and reluctantly lumbered over to his walkie talkie that was placed precariously on a pile of books.

“Lucas, what is it,” Mike asked, noticeably annoyed. He had just gotten to Batman’s faceoff with the Penguin and this mundane interruption from his glossy fantasy world was not welcomed. 

“I got you a date.” 

Mike groaned. “I didn’t really need a date, I was just being dramatic earlier”

“Tough shiz. I already called her up and she can’t wait to go. She’s perfect for you too.”

Mike frowned. Even though this was exactly what he thought he wanted, he felt discomfort in the idea. He had no idea what could patch up this hole that he felt in his life, but it definitely wasn’t a date with some random girl.

“Thanks, Lucas but seriously I’m not interested,” Mike said firmly as he set down the walkie talkie. 

He wearily stared at the wall for a few seconds before retreating back to his comfortable spot on the sofa and picking up his Batman comic. Although he tried to read it as before, he couldn’t fully immerse himself into the story. His bubble of contentment had been punctured by Lucas's phone call, and icy thoughts came rushing in. Whenever he tried to settle into his comic book, these thoughts would drag him back to the confusing gibberish of his uneasy mind. 

He kept thinking about the discomfort he felt when he thought about his mystery date. How it somehow seemed so _ wrong. _ But it didn’t make any sense. He’s liked girls since Gracie Richards invited him to a tea party in first grade. He thought plenty of girls at school were pretty, and he liked El, of course! He loved El. 

But he wasn't in love with El. He never was.

He had never been hopelessly, desperately in love, and he wanted that. He felt that he was missing out on this whole spectrum of human experience. After he and El broke up and decided to just be friends, he almost felt like the clouds would part and the light of true love would hit him like cupid's arrow and he'd find someone and feel something _real_. But then Will called and told him about Rosie and it was like the curtains of his mind had snapped shut and he'd been left in darkness ever since.

The phone suddenly rang and the bright sound cut through the dark haze in his head and brought him back to his surroundings. Taking advantage of this distraction, Mike launched himself out of his seat and towards the sound.

“Wheeler residence, this is Michael speaking,” he said, the learned words rolling robotically out of his mouth.

“Hey, Mike! It’s Will!” the phone cheerfully called out to him.

The sound of his friend’s voice took all the pain and confusion away like the best medicine, the darkness dissolving in the light sound. He suddenly felt happy again, the weightlessness inside him making him almost giddy.

“Will, hey! Good to hear from you! I’m so excited to see you tomorrow, it’s gonna be so great,” Mike said excitedly as he began twirling the telephone cord around his fingers and pacing the room.

“Me too,” the other voice said, “and hey you’ll never believe this but you’ll actually get to meet Rosie! Mom said she could come with us”

Mike’s stopped moving and his stomach dropped like that weightlessness was suddenly replaced by a bowling ball.

“What?” He croaked, his mouth dry.

“Yeah! Turns out she has family in Hawkins too, super small world” Will said. “You’ll love her, she’s so cool.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard,” Mike said darkly, but when he heard the thick bitterness in his voice he reframed his sentiments. “I’m happy for you though. You deserve to be happy”

“Well, yeah, I’m happy I guess, but Mike, I’m even more excited to be coming home!”

“Um, ok then. See ya tomorrow,” he said hollowly.

He heard a confused “Um ok, bye then” before the click that signaled the disconnection of the line. It all felt so distant. His surroundings were drowned out by the buzzing in his head.

He sat there for a moment, a pervasive emptiness draped over his entire body. He felt disconnected from his thoughts, and even more detached from his actions. He was dimly aware of his feet carrying him towards the walkie talkie, turning it on, and speaking into it.

“Hey Lucas, you know, I think I changed my mind” he spoke calmly, rationally, but his voice felt like it was coming from somewhere else.

“Bring the date,” he said suddenly and then hung up.


	3. Holly... Jolly?

Mike awoke to the smell of sugar cookies wafting under his door. He instantly shot out of bed, shaking off his sheets and running to the kitchen. “It’s Christmas!” he said to himself, eyes alight with excitement.

Christmas was his favorite holiday. Halloween was a close second, but it didn’t have the same atmosphere, like the magic of childhood was melted down and put into a candle that was lit for only one day a year. He didn’t care that he was a 5 foot 11 high school freshman; on Christmas, he woke up 7 years old and bursting with joy. 

His socks slid smoothly against the cool kitchen tile. “Hi, Mama!” He said brightly to his mother. Karen looked mildly frazzled in her plum silk robe and her hair wrapped around pink curlers. She took the cookies out of the oven and then pulled off her oven mitts as Mike wrapped her up in a big hug.

“Michael, what?” She said in utter confusion. Her son had been a shadow in her house for the past few weeks; who was this effervescent sprite?

“It’s Christmas!” He said again, shrugging as he gingerly picked a hot cookie off the parchment paper and juggled it from hand to hand to cool it off. He rushed to the basement to read some more comic books before the rest of his family woke up. 

\--

By dinnertime, he felt utterly content. Holly sat in the corner, playing with her new cabbage patch kids, acting out their voices in her sweet little kid voice. Nancy was curled up on the couch like a cat, her brilliant mind completely immersed in her new book. Karen was cheerfully singing along to the Christmas music floating through the room while she hung up festive decorations as Ted dozed in his easy chair, snoring lightly in his Santa costume.

Mike smiled, hugging his new video games tightly to his chest. It all looked so beautiful, so peaceful. He felt whole. Complete.

He suddenly was struck by the fact that his friends were coming over and the feeling of contentment was jolted by an electric excitement. He ran to his room to change out of his pajamas and figure out what he should wear. He started pulling things from the closet wildly and holding them up to his slight frame to see what would look good. He normally didn’t worry too much about what he wore, but he was going to see Will today for the first time since Thanksgiving which made him feel slightly apprehensive. He finally stumbled upon a silky, forest green button-down and long slacks. _ Festive, _ he thought to himself before cracking a grin. It was perfect.

\--

“Mom, where’s the iron?” Mike called, walking down the stairs as he zipped on his dress pants.

“Michael Wheeler seeking an iron?” Nancy said as she took her attention from her book to direct it at her brother, smirking. “Wow, why so fancy? What’s the occasion?”

Mike swallowed apprehensively. “Just seeing my friends!” He said, trying to impart a breezy and casual tone to his voice. “They’re coming over for a holiday party”

“Oh right, the holiday party. Isn’t El coming to this?” She said impishly before turning back to her book. She looked back at him with significance, wide eyes imploring an answer.

Mike let out a soft breath, a hidden sigh of relief. _ Only El. _He’d been teased about El since he was 12 years old. That he could handle. “No Nance, we’re just friends, we broke up two months ago”

“Oh oooookay,” she says in obvious disbelief before pulling the blankets closer and zeroing back in on the pages of her story.

Mike paused, frozen. He wasn’t gonna try to correct her, so he let it go.

Karen started walking up the stairs, humming slightly as she carried sparkling garlands to decorate the upstairs hallway. “Mom, the iron?”

She raised her eyebrows in suspicion but her eyes were soft with fondness for her son. She wasn’t sure why her son was so eager to dress up and take such pride in his appearance but she wasn’t gonna question what was in her mind a Christmas miracle. _There must be a special someone coming tonight,_ she thought vaguely as she smiled at him. “The ironing board is set up in my room”

"Ok, great, thank you" Mike called out as he raced to her bedroom.

Mike began to iron, the heat smoothing out the wrinkles that marred his satin shirt. As he worked on this simple task, his mind began to wander towards a territory labeled with a rusted warning sign, a shadowed realm that made no sense to him but possessed him to feel dark emotions: jealousy, anger, and a lot of pain.

He recalled a time before this dark presence when everything was brighter and so much simpler. When comments about El were a source of annoyance instead of a relief. When he said everything he meant and meant everything he said. When his thoughts and feelings were his own, when his body felt his own, and everything made _sense_. He yearned for that clarity so he could understand himself again.

_Maybe this is growing up._

Maybe things would never be the same again and he should just relinquish control to this darkly veiled, shadowy presence that had taken residence inside his head. Maybe his mind was no longer his own and never would be. He swallowed the melancholy thought in defeat, letting it color him blue. 

Mike looked at his shirt, ironed to silky perfection. A moment ago, it's bright and flashy design seemed like the perfect reflection of how he felt, but now the previous excitement that he felt was gone and he felt like a bubbling soda gone flat. He slipped the shirt over his head and looked in the mirror. It seemed more like a costume than anything else.

The sharp ring of the doorbell pulled him from his bleak introspection and he began to solemnly walk down the stairs. He felt out of place in the atmosphere around him, which was bursting with holiday cheer. 

He put on a stiff, fake smile and took wooden steps towards the door.

He opened the door to see Will standing next to a frecked girl with brown curls.

The sight was jarring. After a month of just hearing his voice, he almost couldn’t believe his friend was right there, standing in front of him. Will was _really there_, and then so was Mike; the hollowness inside of him was replaced with a familiar feeling of affection and a tinge of feverish exhilaration. Bundled in his bright coat and many scarves, Will looked so _cute_. In the cold air, his cheeks were tinged with a wash of pink and snow was dusted on his hair like a halo. Standing against the snow-covered landscape, he looked a bit like an angel.

“Hey Mike,” Will said, waving shyly with a glove-covered hand. “Merry Christmas”


	4. Beaus and Ribbons

Mike kind of stared at the open door. _ He’s here_, he thought, and as the concept passed through his mind, he felt a wave of warmth wash over his body. He simultaneously felt at ease and invigorated, like seeing his friend had awakened something in him and imbued him with some strange and ancient energy. Trying to ignore the internally igniting firecrackers, he managed to spit out a coherent thought.

“Wow Will, you look good,” he said, the sentence slipping right out of his mouth like a wet bar of soap.

“Um, thanks,” Will said, shifting awkwardly. 

When Mike realized how strange and unfiltered this thought was, he opened his mouth to clarify, but was interrupted by Will saying “you do too, I love the shirt.”

Mike blushed. _ What the heck? Why am I blushing, where did that come from? _“Oh yeah, thanks, I think it was my dad’s or something,” he said lamely. He smiled at Will and Will smiled back, their eye contact forming a silken thread on a spiderweb, a thin connection that snapped only when the girl next to Will cleared her throat and said “Um, hi, I’m Rosie by the way”

Mike blinked and looked at the girl standing next to Will. He had barely even noticed her. “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m Mike,” he said, holding out a hand.

She shook it, smirking “I know,” she said simply, “I’ve heard a lot about you. _ A lot _” she said, looking at Will and leaning into him while he looked pointedly at the ground. The air was thick with snow and a palpable tension that he couldn’t pin down. Mike suddenly remembered that the were still standing outside.

“Oh, come in, come in!” He said, beckoning wildly. Will and Rosie smiled at each other and walked in, hand in hand.

They all walked away from the closing front door, but it was kept open right before it shut “Hey guys! Didja miss me?” Lucas said, sticking in his head in the slightly open door à la Jack Torrance in _ The Shining _before fully opening it and walking in with Dustin, Max, El, and another girl that Mike had seen around school. She had long, dark auburn hair that shone like polished mahogany, and she had it clipped back in a rhinestone barrette.

“Oh Mike, this is Bella,” Lucas said, gesturing theatrically with a hundred-watt smile.

“Hi,” she said, accompanied by a small wave. Her hand quickly returned back to her teal purse, which she clutched nervously. She was wearing a pale blue skirt, white blouse, and an aquamarine jacket. She smiled at Mike before looking down bashfully. Mike stared at her blankly. She was pretty.

“Hi,” Mike said awkwardly, returning the wave with a spastic flick of his hand. “Uh, let’s go down to the basement,” he said, leading the way while trying to process the avalanche of events that just occurred.

Mike waited outside the door, ushering everyone to come in before him. Lucas strayed behind and came up to him with the same dazzling smile “I did good, huh?” he said, elbowing his awkward friend. “Ye-Yeah yeah definitely,” Mike said, nodding in assent but frowning ever so slightly.

He looked at the basement: his safe haven and place of solitude, now bustling with people. Karen has completely transformed the place. Instead of folding chairs and gray curtains, she set up a Christmas tree and bright streamers of green, red, and gold. Mike noticed that she even managed to drive out the musty boy-basement smell combination that usually lingers down here from accumulated dust and 8 hour D&D campaigns. It was now replaced with a festive cinnamon apple smell. It looked so clean and bright. He tried to shake off the lingering feeling of doubt as he walked down to join his friends, but the shadowed basement of his mind could not be as easily wiped clean.


	5. Whoa

The whole evening , Mike felt vaguely uncomfortable, like there was a dormant hive of hornets nestled in his ribcage that would come alive and sting everything to oblivion if he made the wrong move. He felt himself walking around gingerly, engaging delicately in the holiday chatter before awkwardly hovering alone on the sidelines. 

He felt especially uncomfortable when he got too close to his best friend. When Will talked to him, he felt a sudden deluge of formless emotions and feelings rush into his head and swirl like a storm until he felt dizzy. But the feelings became even stronger when Will talked with anyone else, especially Rosie. When Mike saw the two of them giggling in their own world, the immaterial emotions solidified into dark shapes, creating very real feelings of jealousy and hurt. 

These feelings were overwhelming, holding his whole body in their grip, and he didn’t know how to set himself free. He settled down in the corner with some ruffles and french onion dip to try to ease his mind back into a state of placid calmness.

“Hey” a voice murmured near him, bringing his thoughts back to his body as he just about jumped out of his skin.

He turned around to find himself face-to-face with a pair of warm chocolate eyes, molded in a soft look of concern “Are you ok? You’ve been kind of AWOL all evening” Will said, sliding down to sit next to him

“Huh??” Mike said, his eyes wild with unrestrained panic as his pounding heart served as a very real reminder of how close his friend was him. “Oh, I’m fine! I’ve been here the whole night, what are you talking about?” he said, laughing nervously. 

Will looked at him deeply and then placed his hand carefully on Mike’s shaking hand and said “Ok, Mike. Just know you can tell me anything, all right?” 

“Oh. No, I’m fine, really. Just tired or something, I dunno” he said vaguely, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously.

“Oh, ok. That’s good to hear” he said, staring at the carpet. A few moments stretched by between them, but it felt like an eternity. He shot a little smile at Mike. “Just wanted to make sure you’re having a good Christmas,” he said softly, almost imperceptibly. “I know it's your favorite holiday.”

As he slowly stood up and began to walk away, Mike called out for him. “Will?”

“Yeah?” He responded as he turned around, eyes wide in apprehension. He rubbed his hands together nervously.

“Are you and Rosie dating?” He felt himself say.  _ What kind of question is that??  _ Mike immediately flushed. He felt dizzy and sick, and he was shaking, his breath rattling in his chest.

Surprisingly, Will’s expression of shock fell, tumbling into a cascade of laughter. “Rosie? Oh my God, no.” he shook his head quickly. “She’s just a friend, she’s my best friend back home”

Mike felt the dark and chaotic dizziness inside become something else, something honey-colored and radiant, something that fluttered in his chest and felt a little bit like hope. “She’s just… your friend? You said she was your girlfriend when I talked to you”

Will laughed again, “Yeah, my girl friend, my friend that’s a girl. I hung out so much around you guys that I never really had a girl friend… except for the girls who dated my friends, and I loved them too but it’s a different dynamic. She’s just a cool person, ya know?”

Mike looked over at Rosie in a new light. She was chatting animatedly with Bella, and Mike was suddenly filled with appreciation for her. She and Bella fell into wild laughter and he wondered how he could have felt so threatened by her moments before.

“Yeah. She is,” Mike said, surprising himself as he smiled. He dimly realized how grateful he was that there was someone who was able to provide comfort and happiness to the most important person in his life.  _ Whoa. _

“But no… I’m not dating anyone right now,” Will said suddenly, staring at his feet which shifted nervously against the carpet.

“Oh,” Mike swallowed, aware of the atmosphere becoming thick and tense with all the words that were left unsaid between the two of them.

Will seemed to notice this tension because he smiled nervously and said “Hey let's get back to the rest of the party, yeah?” he said, gently taking Mike’s hand and pulling him up towards the cluster of teens in the center of the room. At the contact, Mike’s stomach flipped like a pancake. 

He felt Will’s hummingbird heartbeat through his fingertips, syncing up with own elevated pulse, and it was at that very moment that he finally felt the darkness fall away, the fear dissolving into glimmering pools of lazy contentment. He felt a warm glow in his chest, stronger than anything he’s ever felt before, reaffirming that the moment felt right. Next to Will, the confused clamoring of his mind was silenced and he felt like himself again. He indulged in a genuine smile as he reassimilated with the party.


	6. Really Like Hot Cocoa

Through the whole rest of the night, Mike couldn’t take his eyes off Will, his fingertips still tingling with the ghost of his touch. A few times when he would look over, he saw Will catch his eye and Mike’s mind began to short circuit. 

Things were different between them. In fact, Will seemed different. 

He had stretched up a few inches but seemed to sit more solidly in his body. No longer ephemerally thin like he could melt into the air, his form was now bound to his bones by lean muscle. His hair was also shorter and styled in a way that some of the seniors at Hawkins High wore their hair, cropped on the sides and feathered out at the top. His clothes were fitted and tastefully vibrant; in other words, he looked cool.

He also now walked with his chin high, no longer slouching as he did before. He was still shy, but his voice was tinged with conviction and belief in himself that was absent in the days of the past, where everything he said was shadowed with doubt. 

Mike honestly felt intimidated. He was overcome by whispers of inferiority clouding his mind whenever he stole a glance at his oldest friend, but he couldn’t stop. It was like there was a magnet pulling his eyes to the other boy’s chestnut hair that gleamed like candlelight. Mike gazed at the way his lips wrapped around a smile that was so bright it made him dizzy. He noticed how his colorful windbreaker was speckled with water droplets from the snow that had melted against his warmth, just like the snowflakes that had melted off of his hair and eyelashes and nose - the cute nose that he’d crinkle when he laughed - and Mike was so overcome with an intense rush of feeling that made him feel like he was about to faint.

_ Whoa, What? _He thought, not for the first time that evening. Try as he might, his thoughts were scattered across the far corners of his brain like remote puzzle pieces, that he knew fit together but he didn’t know how. 

_ Why do I feel this way? He’s just Will. He’s just my best friend. He might be taller and radiate “cool” in a way that he used to, but he’s just the same, he’s always been cool... he’s always been perfect to me._

He suddenly hears a voice behind him

“Hey, Mike! I went get more hot cocoa from the kitchen and I got one for you too, I hope that’s ok”

Mike turned around to see his best friend, starry eyes bright and expression open, a light smile resting on his lips. “I put extra whipped cream and M&M’s in it too because I know that’s how you like it, right?”

Mike stares at him in bewilderment at his perfect best friend, his gaze resting on his perfect lips and he gets a sudden urge to pull him into a kiss. _ WHOA whoa whoa_.

“Oh! Ha ha thanks man,” he said averting eye contact and hoping to hide his blush that spread traitorously across his cheeks. 

What a weird brain glitch. He must really like hot cocoa.

“No problem,” he said softly, fingertips lightly grazing his shoulder, leaving them smoldering in his wake.

Mike risked a glance at his friend walking away and spent the rest of the evening trying to reconcile this event with the rest of the chaotic thoughts that rolled like thunder and crashed like waves inside his mind, too loud to ignore.

—

By the evening, the party settled down in their sleeping bags, colorful fabrics bundled and tangled gangly teenage limbs bundling together as their conversations slipped into that bizarre quality that only 3 am discussions contain.

“No really!” Dustin said, his eyes wide and alight with excitement. “The fish turned into Arnold Swarzenegger and then swallowed me whole”

Mike smiled, chuckling softly at Dustin’s enthusiasm. He joined the drama club at Hawkins High School, to the surprise of no one. He always had a flair for performing. Dustin looked across the relished at the look of disgust and horror that his story brought about. El was laying in Max’s lap and clinging to her, her eyes bulging with fear. Max rolled her eyes with an expression of amusement. “Dustin, that’s literally not even scary. If you want an actually scary dream, I got one for you. I was bitten by a werewolf and it made me kill everything I saw. It was crazy, not only was my body not my own, but my thoughts weren’t either. It's like everything human about me was clouded by darkness. I had to eat my neighbor’s _ cat _”

With the sounds of her words, Mike felt something cold rush through his body, as if a draft of wind passed through his body, chilling every atom. Icy fingers grasped at his lungs, holding his breath back. “Hey, has anyone ever felt like that, like in real life?”

Everyone looked at him, their faces wiped blank with confusion.

“You mean… turned into a werewolf?” Lucas said, breaking into a grin. Small bursts of laughter peppered through the party. 

A light sweat broke at the back of his neck, sending sickening regret oozing through him like an egg yolk sliding beneath his skin. _ Why did you bring that up? You’re supposed to bury it, deep. If you don’t understand it, leave it that way. _Despite the urgings from his mind, he surged forward.

“Ummm, uhhh... Like your thoughts aren’t your own, your feelings aren’t your own. And you’re confused about everything. You’re jealous and angry and hurt and you don’t even know why. The thoughts that used to belong to you are like shredded confetti and you can’t track them or make sense of your own mind anymore. Your feelings and reactions are out of control, it's like something else is pulling the strings.”

The party’s scattered looks of amusement melted into looks of concern. The atmosphere, so warm a second ago, was cold and tense, like a candle blown out.

“I’ve never felt like that, Mike,” Max said seriously, and various others nodded solemnly. 

Mike looked at the sea of uneasy faces, but one stood out spectacularly.

Will’s face was ghostly pale, drained of all blood, and his wide eyes were grim orbs in his face, shining dimly like the moon. He looked about as uneasy as Mike felt. He swallowed slowly, and Mike could hear his thoughts as clear as day.

_ I have. _


	7. The Same, But New

Will stood up quietly and gave a small, surreptitious gesture for Mike to follow him. He walked out, a silent spectre disappearing behind the door.

“Um, I’m gonna get some water real quick,” Mike said, clambering ungracefully out of his sleeping bag. He followed Will out the door.

He was dimly aware of a jittery feeling in his stomach at being alone with Will but it was buried under an overwhelming feeling of apprehension.

Will turned around “Mike, have you been feeling cold recently?”

Mike frowned, “I mean, it’s December”

Will shook his head impatiently “No not like that. Like your whole body has turned to ice, but you can barely notice because that voice, that _ thing _ in your head is telling you that it’s ok.”

Mike slowly shook his head “No nothing like that”

“Did the voice make you hurt anyone? Anything? Did you blackout at all?”

Mike shook his head for the second time. “No, I didn’t. And there was no voice, it's more of a feeling. Except for these weird thoughts, I've been fine”

“Oh thank God,” Will said and he pulled him into a deep hug, smothering him with warmth. Mike was filled with an overwhelming sense of comfort. It felt so _ nice. _

“I was so scared that somehow the Mindflayer took control of you,” Will said, shaking slightly. “That was so… so… so horrible, I could never wish anything like that on someone” He paused and then hugged him tighter. “_ Especially you, _” he said even more gently.

Mike pulled away slowly. “No, oh my god, I’m ok, I’m good. I’m safe,” he said, looking into Will’s hazel eyes, which were brimming with tears. He takes one of Will’s hands in both of his and gives them a comforting squeeze. “I’m _ here _. But I don’t know what’s wrong with me. You’ve never felt like this any other time?”

Will looked carefully at his before his face fell, and he pulled his hand away from Mike. He took a ragged intake of breath before continuing delicately. “I… I have” he said quietly. “But I already know its not the same as what you’re feeling”

Mike didn’t want to press him, but he needed to know. He was feeling sick and dizzy in anticipation, his heart racing in the back of his throat. “What was it”

Will eyes lightly grazed his face before he looked at the ground. He sighed deeply “Last summer. Basically the whole time”

_ Last summer? _Mike thought as a quizzical expression spread across his face. Will chanced another glance at him, before looking down and pressing on.

“Yeah, when you were dating El. The whole time I was riddled with feelings of jealousy, hurt, and anger so intense that I felt ill. I felt sick all the time. It was like the darkness in my head infected my body, my entire world. I was so worried that the mindflayer was back again, I kept checking my temperature and would try to take hot showers to burn the badness out of me, like I did before. To scald out these horrible thoughts. But I eventually realized that these thoughts were all my own. There was no other presence. It was just _ me _”

Mike stared at him as a thought crawled into his head, a thought that gnawed at his stomach and made his bones ache. “Jealous of me? You liked El?”

Will shook his head, tear tracks staining his cheeks. “No Mike,” he said, barely above a whisper, “I didn’t like El. I liked _ you.” _

Mike felt as if he had been struck in the head. A wave of shock rolled over him as he began to grasp at some long hidden truth, buried like a shiny toy car deep in the sandbox of his mind under years of memories. “Will, wait…. I started feeling this way when you called me about Rosie”

Will looked up slowly, wiping his eyes “um, wha- what do you mean, Mike”

Mike swallowed his weighted words gathering more strength as he talked, “I was jealous. I thought I was jealous of you for dating someone, but I… I was jealous of _ her.” _

Will barely dared to breathe in the fear that it would break the delicate tension that hung in the air and this gossamer moment would be lost forever.

“Sure, I wanted to date somebody, but not _ anybody _. I was upset that you were with someone that wasn’t me. And I know that’s stupid because you’re gonna find someone amazing, I mean why wouldn’t you, you’re _ Will” _ he said, vaguely gesturing, “I mean _ you’re amazing, _you’re the most amazing person I ever met, and I’ve never felt that way about anything else because you’re about the closest thing to perfect I've ever known” Mike looked down and swallowed hard, “I know this is a lot, but like, just know that I’ll be so excited for you when you do find someone to love, because though I’ll always like you, I want you to be happy most of all. If you’re happy, I’m happy”

Will looked at the ground “What if I already found someone?” 

Mike’s breath caught in his throat. Will’s eyes flickered up to look at him and he continued, 

“A long time ago, I was sitting on the swings and this boy walked up to me and asked me if I wanted to be his friend. I’d never seen anyone so beautiful, so kind, and I want nothing more than for him to be happy too. And if he says I make him happy, maybe we could be happy together?” 

“Will you’re such a sap,” Mike said, laughing, but his eyes glittered with tears “but yeah, I’d really like that,” he said, squeezing his hands gently. The dam broke and all the affection he had for Will flooded his mind. He leaned forward and pulled him tightly in a hug.

Will was at first stiff with shock but slowly melted into his arms. They’d hugged before, but it always felt like he was hugging him through gloved hands, but now he let that barrier fall and he noticed _ everything: _the sweet smell of his shampoo, the feeling of Will’s soft pajama shirt and his hands on Mike's back that left him burning, and the little contented hum that Will let out in an exhale

In reality, they both exhaled. 

The walls came crashing down and Mike pulled Will tighter and tighter, crushing his face into his hair and shiny hair, breathing him in deep and never wanting to let go. 

An eternity passed. Or maybe it was a second. Will pulled away and smiled softly. “Wanna go back in?” he asked as his hand softly touched Mike’s arm.

Mike looked at him and got a sudden resurgence of the feeling he had when Will handed him the cocoa, a siren song woven by all the echoes of all the times he’s wanted to do this. He pulled Will’s face up slowly, drinking in the feeling of this closeness before leaning in and pressing his lips against Will’s.

He would say that he felt fireworks exploding in him, but there was nothing earthly about this moment. This was a supernova; galaxies colliding, bursting in heat and color and feeling. He pulled him closer until there was no space between them because who needs space when Will was the universe?

They melted into each other with each breath that passed between them, and as they pulled apart, they began to solidify back into themselves, stripped of their fears and dazzling with authenticity.

Mike felt different. He finally felt comfort inside himself and who he was meant to be, which made him feel impossibly light, as if acceptance of his human form imparted divinity. He gave incredulous look to the boy he loved, who stared back in awe looking _ so cute _ that Mike couldn’t help himself. He swooped in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek before saying “yeah, let’s go back.” 

He took him by the hand, Will’s delicate fingers sliding and filling all the negative space between Mike’s spindly fingers like it was meant to be. 

And he really felt it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading all the way through and have a beautiful day!!
> 
> Also, for anyone worrying about Bella, Lucas informed her before that this would probably happen (bc he’s a perceptive smarty) so she’s doing well!!! She talked to Rosie basically the whole night and made sure to get her information so they could stay in touch. They’re pen pals now ♡


End file.
